I spent my life trying to live up to the expectations of others, to gain validation and approval, and as a result, I climbed many ladders that were leaning against the wrong wall. I finally reached a point where I completely lost touch with myself – I didn’t even know who I was anymore – that was the depression.
When you’re STUCK it’s like you have a black cloud over your head 24/7 – you’re exhausted most of the time, your mind feels chaotic, you lack clarity, your mood is low and you begin to lose trust and belief in yourself – your confidence nosedives and the anxiety ramps up, whilst the dominant train of thought is “I’m just not good enough” – but is this really true?
The thing is, somewhere deep inside I knew I was meant for more, there was this little voice that would sometimes say to me – “is this really it?” – and whilst I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life, getting there had taken tenacity, courage, dedication, commitment and a very strong work ethic, so why couldn’t this be replicated and channelled into something new?
That's the problem with being STUCK, stay there too long and the self-doubt and fear creeps in to overwhelming levels. You create problems and obstacles in your mind that weren't even there in the first place...the perils of overthinking.
With the dominant thought of 'I'm not good enough' you struggle to see yourself objectively and what you're really capable of, so I had to make a point of reminding myself that I had some accomplishments I needed to be proud of - securing a top training position in anaesthetics, intensive care and emergency medicine in London; a committee member for the Royal Society of Medicine leading coaching and training events for hundreds of medical trainees; setting up and running a pop-up restaurant (alongside my medical training) where I cooked for up to 100 people a night in various locations across London and was lucky enough to be featured in the The Independent - but it's hard for you to recognise your accomplishments when you suffer from a low self-esteem and low self-worth.
As a perfectionist, you're never satisfied with who you are or what you've accomplished, and a huge part of my ability to get UNSTUCK and create the life that I dreamed of was learning to change this view I had of myself and master the skill of moving through fear.
So many people with so much potential are living an average life, one that is mediocre and doesn't excite or inspire them. They have dreams and desires that they push down, ignore, resist and suppress which over the long term causes them to stagnate, close up and start living in a dark hole that feels like a prison. This was me all over when I was STUCK but the tipping point was losing my 47 year old brother to suicide - this was a stark reminder of just how short life can be and why we need to stop hanging on to the things that aren't working for us so we can shift from a place of pain, paralysis and depression to one of energy, power and excitement. Let's live more intensely and find freedom and fulfilment - let's get the most out of ourselves and our life!
Now my work is dedicated to helping people just like you, dream big and back it up with purposeful, meaningful action, so they can become the person they dreamed of and achieve feats they've laid awake at night thinking about. This my friend is where you step from merely existing to really living, and you become the most confident, self-assured and optimistic person you know.
It's time to take some huge leaps forward because life's too short for being anything less than a total BADASS.
