How to Stop Fear from Holding You Back

Fear has a way of keeping us STUCK. It convinces us that we’re not ready, that we might fail, that the worst-case scenario is inevitable. But what if I told you that on the other side of fear is often something incredible?

Recently, I had an experience that put my own fear-handling skills to the test.

Facing Panic Head-On

During my survival week (which I wrote about last week), I had the added challenge of looking after a 60kg Spanish Mastiff. He outweighed me, and while he adored me, he wasn’t so keen on anything else. Other dogs, some people – anything he deemed a threat, he’d launch at, growling, ready to fight. We were told he could be “a little bit difficult.” The reality? He was a liability.

Then my partner went to London for two days, leaving me solely responsible. Some might have let him stay in the garden, but I couldn’t bear the thought. He was already overweight and unfit. So, I told myself, I can handle it.

The Procrastination Trap

Day one, I knew I had to walk him. But, like anyone avoiding something stressful, I procrastinated. The longer I delayed, the worse it felt. My anxiety escalated.

Lesson: The longer we put off what we know we need to do, the more overwhelming it becomes.

Eventually, I mustered the courage. Getting his muzzle on took 15 minutes – he wasn’t thrilled, and I feared he’d turn aggressive. By the time we were finally ready, I had missed the quiet window on the busiest dog-walking paths. The moment I stepped outside, I saw dog walkers in every direction. My anxiety skyrocketed.

Lesson: Procrastination often means missing valuable opportunities and making execution harder.

I spent the next 10 minutes awkwardly dodging people. Then, on a narrow path, his muzzle (which I hadn’t secured properly) fell off. Panic set in. I ran back home.

It was an epic fail.

The Turning Point

That evening, I reflected. A lot of my coaching revolves around helping people move through fear. I’ve learned firsthand that fear underpins so many dysfunctional behaviors – workaholism, people-pleasing, perfectionism. This was no different. I had made three key mistakes that I needed to correct before trying again.

Mistake #1: Emotional Thinking

When fear takes over, the primal part of your brain hijacks rational thought. Your prefrontal cortex (responsible for decision-making and logic) shuts down. This is helpful if you’re running from a lion, but not when you’re trying to do something important but uncomfortable.

Fear-based thinking is:

  • Irrational
  • Catastrophic
  • Black-and-white
  • Paranoid

That was me on day one. To move past it, I had to slow my thoughts, breathe deeply, and focus on facts over fear.

Facts: This dog had been walked before. He had never hurt anyone. With the muzzle on, the worst he’d do was get aggressive, and I could hold tight. Repeating these truths calmed my nerves and re-engaged my logical brain.

Mistake #2: Lack of Learning

Fear often signals that there’s something we need to improve. If public speaking terrifies you, study it. If you fear failing at something, upskill.

Instead of just sitting in anxiety, I asked myself: What is fear trying to tell me? The answer was obvious – I hadn’t learned how to properly secure the muzzle. That night, I practiced. And with that, my confidence grew.

Mistake #3: Lack of Preparation

Fear indicates a need to prepare. One of the best ways to reduce fear is through a solid plan. When I coach clients through fear of public speaking, preparation is everything.

I failed on attempt one because I procrastinated, then went in unprepared. No wonder it felt overwhelming. Preparation reduces risk and gives us the best chance of a successful outcome.

So I made a plan:

  • Timing: Walk him at sunrise when it’s quiet.
  • Route: Take a wide path to see obstacles in advance.
  • Practice: Secure the muzzle properly before stepping outside.

The Outcome

At 5:30 AM, I dragged myself out of bed. “Walkies!” I called, waking the dog from his slumber. With ease, I secured the muzzle (practice works), and off we went.

The sky was a blend of purples and pinks. The Seven Sisters cliffs glowed in the morning light. The beauty stopped me in my tracks – it was magic.

With only two other dog walkers in sight (to whom I called, “Keep your distance!”), we made it to the beach. Waves lapped against the pebbles as we watched the sunrise together. It was a moment of deep fulfillment – a reminder that on the other side of fear is often something incredible.

I returned home feeling victorious, knowing that next time, it would be even easier.

Your Turn

If there’s something you’re scared of doing, I hope this story helps. Here’s your action plan:

  • Catch emotional thinking. Name the fear, then focus on facts.
  • Ask what fear is trying to teach you. Identify a skill gap and improve it.
  • Prepare. Make a plan to reduce uncertainty.
  • Take action. Fear only shrinks when you face it.

So, what’s the thing you’ve been putting off? Maybe today is the day you take the first step.

If fear is keeping you STUCK and you’re ready to move past it, I can help. Book a free call

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