The Confidence Trap That Keeps You STUCK

ONE TRAP

Seeking validation from others can feel like confidence – but it’s not. It’s a hit of reassurance that wears off fast.

Over time, if seeking validation becomes habitual, it erodes your confidence, because you’re handing your worth over to someone else.

Worse still, we often chase approval from people who don’t share our values – so how on earth can their validation be relevant? It’s like asking a math teacher to grade the papers on an English exam – it just doesn’t work.

ONE TRUTH

No matter how talented, intelligent, beautiful or kind you are, there will be people who won’t see it. There will always be those who criticise and judge.

If your confidence depends on being liked, approved of, or praised by others – it will always be shaky, vulnerable to the mood, bias, or worldview of whoever’s in front of you. That’s a painful, exhausting way to live.

Real confidence starts when you stop waiting to be seen and start seeing yourself.

ONE TOOL

You will find in yourself whatever you choose to look for.

So ask yourself:

• What are you focusing on right now?
• Where is your energy going?

Here’s a practical exercise:

Write down 1-3 difficult events you’ve overcome.

Then reflect:

• What strengths got you through?
• What qualities did you embody?
• Where did you turn challenge into transformation?

Most people only look at where they fall short.

But you have a history of resilience. Start using it to boost your confidence.

With love,
Cordelia xx