Have you ever found yourself STUCK in something that’s clearly not working, but you just can’t walk away? You’re not alone. Here’s why it happens – and how to break free.
When Letting Go Is The Smartest Move
There’s a pattern I’ve seen time and again – both in my own life and in my clients. A deep reluctance to walk away from something that isn’t working.
They’ve poured in time, energy, money… so they keep going. The idea of quitting feels unbearable. So they double down, throwing even more into a situation that’s already draining them – only to dig a deeper hole, making it even harder to leave.
One of the clearest examples in my own life was a long-term relationship in my early thirties. It was the longest relationship I’d ever had. And despite all the red flags – frequent and rather magnificent arguments, conflicting values, a declining sex life, more negativity than joy, and an unshakable gut feeling that it wasn’t right – I stayed.
I kept trying to make it work simply because I had already invested so much.
And all that did was steal years I could have spent finding something that actually was right for me. It prolonged the pain, made it harder to leave, and, in hindsight, was completely barbaric.
If you’ve ever kept going with something long past the point of logic – whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a business decision – you’ve fallen into this same trap.
The sunk cost bias.
This is our brain’s tendency to keep investing in something we know is a losing proposition simply because we’ve already put so much into it. We tell ourselves:
But here’s the brutal truth:
The more you invest, the harder it is to walk away. And that’s exactly why so many people stay STUCK.
The Sunk Cost Bias In Action
You sit through a boring movie because you’ve already watched 30 minutes.
You stick with a job that makes you miserable because you’ve spent years climbing the ladder.
You stay in a relationship that’s clearly broken because you’ve “put in so much.”
You sit on an overcrowded, windy beach with freezing water because you drove two hours to get there.
You watch governments pour billions into doomed projects like the Concorde because they refuse to admit it’s a sunk cost.
And yet, admitting something isn’t working is often the only way to get UNSTUCK.
A few years ago, I was running an online workshop. The uptake was low, but the workload was huge. Everyone told me, “Just do it anyway – you’ve already done so much!”
But I knew my effort wouldn’t be rewarded. So I pulled it. And I’m so glad I did.
Same with a membership model I was advised to build early in my coaching career. It felt misaligned, I wasn’t enjoying it, and it was draining my time and energy. While some people were disappointed and frustrated when I pulled the plug on the project, it remains one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Because here’s the thing: Walking away isn’t failure. Staying STUCK is when you know something’s not working.
If you’re struggling to let go, ask yourself these questions:
Sometimes, the most strategic move is to cut your losses. Perfectionists especially struggle with this – we’d rather live in denial than admit something isn’t working.
But there’s zero shame in a mistake – we all make them. Once you see it clearly, you can use that wisdom to move forward and invest in something that’s more fulfilling, rewarding or profitable.
And if you’re still STUCK? Get a second opinion from someone you trust – someone not emotionally involved and who won’t be affected by your decision. They might be the ones to finally give you permission to stop forcing something that’s clearly not working.
I know how hard it is to uncommit – there’s guilt, frustration, even shame. But learning to do so might be the one thing standing between you and the life you actually want.
So be brave. Step back. Show courage. And move forward.