The robust research performed by Canadian clinical psychologists Dr Paul Hewitt and Dr Gordon Flett, who have been studying perfectionism for over two decades and have created a Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (MPS), splits perfectionism into three types.
As you read this, you may well find that you fall strictly into one subtype, or you may discover that you are a little bit of each subtype.
Socially prescribed perfectionists are very self-critical. They feel immense pressure to be the best and worry that others will reject them if they are anything but flawless. Perceived external standards, which come from family, workplace culture, society etc, can lead to anxiety and low confidence since their self-esteem is tied up in portraying themselves and being viewed as perfect by the world.
A big clue as to whether you’re a socially prescribed perfectionist is that your actions are driven by a desire to meet a particular standard so you are seen a certain way by others, whether that’s society or your boss, rather than it necessarily being important to you, based on what’s important and meaningful to you.
Perfectionists who are other-oriented, as the word suggests, hold others to excessively high standards and direct their perfectionism outward. They can be extremely critical and judgemental of others when they fail to meet those standards which can leave destruction in their wake. This can cause problems at work and in their relationships as it’s hard to build relationships under these conditions.
A big clue as to whether you’re an other-oriented perfectionist is that you struggle to delegate because of the belief that others can’t get it ‘just right’ or when you do, you tend to micromanage the task in hand to ensure it meets your high standards.
Self-oriented perfectionists are organised and conscientious and want to get every detail right because they value attention to detail. They set high standards for themselves in their lives and their careers, but are able to go after their goals since they tend to not be held back by fear of failure. Self-oriented perfectionism is generally associated with the most “adaptive” traits (more on this next week) which is correlated with greater productivity and success, including resourcefulness and assertiveness. They show higher rates of positive emotions and motivation.
A big clue as to whether you are a self-oriented perfectionist is that you demand excessively high standards of yourself and you are very critical of yourself in one or more areas of life.
Knowing what category you fall into is important because each require a different approach in order to beat perfectionism.
In terms of my coaching, it’s socially-prescribed perfectionism that I witness most frequently in my clients that’s keeping them STUCK, is this the case for you?
